> Lets face it.
> English is a stupid language.
> There is no egg
in the eggplant
> No ham in the hamburger
> And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
> English muffins
were not invented in England
> French fries were not invented in France.
> We sometimes take English
> But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
> Quicksand takes you down slowly
> Boxing rings
> And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
> If writers write, how come fingers
> If the plural of tooth is teeth
> Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
the teacher taught,
> Why didn't the preacher praught.
> If a vegetarian eats vegetables
> What the heck
does a humanitarian eat!?
> Why do people recite at a play
> Yet play at a recital?
> Park on driveways
> Drive on parkways
> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
> Of a language where a house
can burn up as
> It burns down
> And in which you fill in a form
> By filling it out
> And a bell
is only heard once it goes!
> English was invented by people, not computers
> And it reflects the creativity
of the human race
> (Which of course isn't a race at all)
> That is why
> When the stars are out
they are visible
> But when the lights are out they are invisible
> And why it is that when I wind up my watch
> But when I wind up this poem
> It ends.